In the course of the last few weeks, my husband and I took a quick trip from home (Victoria, BC) to Calgary to visit family and friends. We did the 12 hour drive there in one day and I’ve realized I just can’t do that anymore. Even trying to sleep in the car was painful – front seat or lying in the back. We did lots of visiting, I rested as much as I could, and we did the drive home in one day as well.
When we got home, we bought a house.
We have been house hunting for awhile now and I found a listing that we passed to our realtor, who set up a viewing for us. As soon as we saw it, we knew it was perfect. It’s a single level 2 bedroom, one bathroom with a garage. There’s a good size kitchen plus dining area, a large living room with fireplace, the bedrooms are both a good size and there are two patios, one in the front and one in the back. I have 4 different rose bushes in the front of the house, lining the sidewalk, and a hydrangea in the back garden – my two favourite flowers in the world. There’s also a planter for other flowers, and we back onto a green space. Conditions come off at the end of the month and we move in mid October.
So…what does all this have to do with Opiate withdrawal? Well, simply put, I screwed up my timing for my doctor appointment to renew my prescriptions. I ran out of my prescription of my Oxycontin on Monday, and the earliest I can see my doctor is Friday. And so I’ve been getting by through the use of all the “leftover” meds I’ve hoarded when I’ve had extras after a prescription has been filled. Or when I’ve “skipped” a dose during the day, just to have some extras in case of a situation like this. My current dose is 40mg, 3x per day, plus all the other meds I take. I also have some leftover morphine from my husband when he was dealing with a back injury. I’m taking whatever drug cocktail I can come up with just to get through, as stupid as that may be.
Why don’t I go to the ER? Because despite the fact I have well documented chronic pain, and I only go to one pharmacy for my prescriptions, I still feel like I’m being treated like a drug addict when I go there presenting with pain. I would rather deal with it at home than risk being ostracized or embarrassed. Yes, you read that right. I would rather be in pain than risk being seen as a drug seeker. The saddest part of this is that I sit on two different medical committees as a Patient Advocate, and I’ve told them this, and even though the doctors and nurses on these committees have told me how much that hurts them to hear that, it still happens.
So…I am praying for Friday to get here, because Opiate withdrawals are hell, and I don’t wish this on anyone.
but there is always hope.